


House Sitting

by dance_the_code



Series: Conference Wives [12]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: M/M, Multi, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-28
Updated: 2008-01-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 16:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7229647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_the_code/pseuds/dance_the_code
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don and Cooper house sit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Conference Wives Series

Title: House Sitting  
Pairing/Characters: Don/Cooper  
Rating/Category: PG-13  
Word Count: 179  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Don and Cooper house sit.  
Note: Conference Wives Series  
Anything you recognize does not belong to me.

Cooper leaned over the back of the couch, watching Don watch the game. “So, your dad’s been called out of town to fix your Aunt Irene’s dishwasher, the sniper, your brother and your nephew are at a math conference somewhere and we are here, house sitting for your brother until they return.”

Don nodded. “Yeah.”

Cooper stared at the top of Don’s head a moment. “That’s it! Don, I do not think you realize the wealth of opportunities here.”

“Cooper, we’re not going through any one’s stuff. We do that for a living, it’s not fun and I believe Ian would take great pleasure in revealing our insides to daylight.”

Cooper shook his head. “Eppes…we have an abundance of new and interesting locations for sex, what is wrong with you?”

Don pondered this a moment and then, looked up at Cooper with a guilty expression. “I have always wanted to do it in the garage.”

Cooper grabbed Don by the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, Eppes and after the garage, well, I’ve never met a dining room table I didn’t like.”


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Returning Home  
word count goes here  
Chalie/Ian and Don/Cooper  
stuff  
warnings  
blah  
yep  
not mine  
conference wives  
companion to the fic where Don says he wanted to do it in the garage

Upon returning home Charlie was confused by a nagging difference in the house.

It was not unusual for things to move or even disappear, his father and brother both had keys to the house and his father would, with the logic that everything had belonged to him first, come and take anything he needed for his new apartment and Don, being Don, would claim nostalgia and take anything he and Cooper needed for theirs.

But, dissapearance and replacement were two very different concepts.

The dining room table was an oval.

It had previously been a rectangle.

Charlie knew this. There were scorches and burns, nicks and gauges, all that meant the table had suffered the punishments of applied mathematics with grace throughout his industrious youth.

It had not suddenly decided to change shape.

Charlie called Don.

"Eppes."

"Don...the dining room table... is the wrong shape."

"Yeah, about that...if you really want a rectangular one talk to Cooper after he gets off restricted duty."

"What?"

"Your dining room table was not very stable, Chuck."

"What was he doing that destabalized my table?"

"Do you really want to know, Chuck?"

"Yes...wait...no." Charlie wiped a hand over his face and looked over to where the sniper was busy disinfecting every available surface in the living room. "Anything else I should know?"

"Uh, no. Not really."

"Tell Cooper I hope he feels better."

"Yeah, sure, no problem Chuck."

Charlie hung up the phone and muttering to himself dug out a second can of disinfectant and more paper towels, joining the sniper on his quest for household purification.


	3. Edible Equations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Charlie play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives

Title: Edible Equations  
Pairing/Characters: Ian/Charlie  
Rating/Category: R  
Word Count: 112  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Ian and Charlie play  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
Note: –Conference Wives

Lemon was his addiction.

Charlie was not really certain whether or not he wanted to strangle Don or kiss him for filling Ian in on that particular point as that had resulted in a steady stream of tantalizing lemon based foods from soup to dessert.

But right now it didn’t matter.

Right now he had a handful of some sort of pen-like things that were filled with a sweet lemony substance of the sniper’s own concoction, a naked sniper and a challenge.

A very simple challenge for Dr. Charles Eppes.

Write a new ground breaking mathematical theory…while breaking new ground.

Now if he could just keep himself from licking his equations off…


	4. No Math Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie will not be able to help you, no math today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conference Wives

Title: No Math Today  
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/Ian, Don  
Rating/Category: R  
Word Count: 155  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Charlie will not be able to help you, no math today  
Note: Conference Wives

Charlie lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, grinning like an idiot.

“I can’t even add two prime numbers…hell, I can’t identify two prime numbers.”

Ian smirked, trailing a hand up Charlie’s thigh as the phone rang.

“Edgerton.”

“Ian, I really need Charlie to come in and help on this case.” Don’s voice cracked with desperation.

“I’m sorry, Don. That won’t be possible.”

“Ian, put Charlie on the phone.”

“Can’t do that, Don, Charlie’s not doing math today.”

“Ian, what are you talking about, Charlie does math everyday.”

“Not today.”

“Why?”

Ian smiled, a masculine, self-assured, predatory smile, that carried over the phone line and put an involuntary shiver down Don’s spine.

“Because I fucked the numbers right out of his head, Don and when they come back, I fully intend to do it again. No math today. Go, solve crime without Charlie, I’m sure they taught you how to do that at Quantico.”


	5. Tequila is for Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Cooper did not know they should have made popcorn before this started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> –Conference Wives

Title: Tequila is for Brothers  
Pairing/Characters: Ian, Cooper, Don/Charlie  
Rating/Category: R  
Word Count: 136  
Spoilers: None  
Warning: Inappropriate use of the brothers Eppes after appropriate use of tequila, citrus fruit and salt shakers.  
Summary: Ian and Cooper did not know they should have made popcorn before this started.  
Disclaimer – if you recognize it, its not mine.  
For Irena Adler – whose latest forays in Watson are completely responsible for this fic  
Note: –Conference Wives

 

Ian had no idea that tequila had such interesting effects on Charlie.

He had heard the story about Boston and the striptease. He had wondered repeatedly if he could get a private performance or if it would dredge up too many memories.

However, Cooper had brought the bottle over and after the initial disgust of watching Charlie take the shots without salt or citrus, Don had set about trying to teach Charlie the real way to take a tequila shot, opting to use lemon rather than lime in order to appeal to his brother’s citrus preference.

How this had resulted in Charlie being convinced to learn how to take a body shot off his older brother neither Ian nor Cooper could quite figure out…but both men cursed themselves for not having the foresight to make popcorn.


End file.
